Picture Post-Mortem: Roy

Jo main jaanta, ki picture boring hoy,
to nagar dhindora pit’ta kehta, koi na dekhe Roy.

Mitron, what happened to the Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan? Weren’t we supposed to get rid of all garbage and trash? Vikramjit Singh just landed with a landfill of his own, and according to the Box Office estimates, people went for it too. Why, people why? Ohh, it was Valentine’s Day weekend. The Hindu Mahasabha would have married couples roaming outside. So coy. So Roy.

Arjun Rampal plays a movie director who’s looking for a story. The story would go towards taking his film franchise ‘Gun’ forward – Gun III. In an interview with Cyrus Broacha in the film, Rampal says he would keep making Gun IV, Gun V, Gun VI…and so on. I hope that doesn’t translate to Roy 2, Roy 3, Roy 4.

Without a script Rampal moves to Malaysia, with his whole film crew! Who does he think he is? Sajid Khan? The film starts to roll, the director gets inspired with the many affairs en route, and writes something new each day. The film crew is clueless, Rampal is clueless, his secretary is clueless, the clueless producers wanted money back, just like me.

Fun Fact – Rampal’s producers in the movie are Freeway Pictures. That’s the same company which actually produced Roy. A cheeky prophecy? I loved it.

Rampal meets a London based filmmaker Ayesha Amir in Malaysia and falls for her. Together, they bring down the industry average of expressions per minute to a very, very dismal score. And you can’t say it was the demand of the script. Because there wasn’t any.

RoymasalabollywoodwhattherampalfernandesRANBIRmalaysiaoohhhhpavvbhaaji. That’s Ranbir – so there yet hidden under the layers. Ranbir Kapoor takes the parallel narrative forward, along with the Jacqueline Fernandes’s doppelganger. Don’t worry, you will stay confused to give it the thriller feel.

In one of the scenes, while Rampal is directing a shot, there are sudden showers, and the crew runs for shelter. “What’s this?” shouts Rampal. “Sir, Rain,” says his secretary. “Ohh”.  One of the gems of this movie. Also a millionaire art-collector lives alone in a mansion, giving access to a man whom she just met at an art auction. The man could be a thief, an art-loving thief, but who cares. Love and art are difficult to understand.

Technically, I loved the way some of the shots were executed. The cinematography indeed caught my eye, even after it being a dark, grey movie for a great part of its runtime. The songs were melodious, but in terms of the movie, they didn’t contribute much. Plus, the extra long runtime really takes a toll. This could have been much tighter and crisper.

Right now I am in deep contemplation, somewhere between regret and reprieve. Should I have gone for MSG instead? At least I would have been prepared in advance.


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